Kishore Singh: A swadeshi movement

Last Updated: Fri, Dec 07, 2012 21:00 hrs

pOur friend swayed by the strong indictment of multinational potatoes in Parliament determined not to take her grandchildren &ndash as yet presumptive neither of her children being married &ndash to McDonald&rsquos &ldquoThey will eat only emswadeshi empotatoes&rdquo she declared That robust call was squashed when another friend who works with McDonald&rsquos pointed out that the potatoes were in fact completely desi having being grown in GujaratppThat flummoxed poor Chanda who swallowed her Jack Daniels and Coke &ndash both American &ndash and argued that since the original potato saplings had been imported from California her disinclination towards McDonald&rsquos fries had validity &ldquoBy that logic you&rsquoll have to banish all potatoes from your diet&rdquo chortled her husband &ldquosince as everyone knows potatoes were imported from Ireland&rdquo &ldquoThen I won&rsquot eat potatoes again&rdquo Chanda sighed weakly being partial to both potato curry as well as aloo chaat &ldquoin fact I will only eat Indian food with no import-shimport multinational-vultinational nonsense&rdquoppMy wife who has little time for &ldquopretentious nonsense&rdquo immediately removed all emhors&rsquo de oeuvres emfrom Chanda&rsquos vicinity inviting her rebuke &ndash Chanda is partial to her snacks &ndash but added for her benefit &ldquoSorry all this is imported&rdquo &ldquoBut it&rsquos only fried mirchi vadas and a homemade salad&rdquo protested Chanda before her husband gave her a complete run-down &ndash chillies weren&rsquot Indian nor were tomatoes bell-peppers broccoli iceberg lettuce and baby corn were of course imports of a more recent vintage &ldquoThe salad&rdquo pointed out my wife &ldquois Italian and I&rsquom presuming you won&rsquot like to include olive oil in your diet&rdquo &ldquoOr cheeses&rdquo said Sarla &ldquoNo more pizza&rdquo added her husband &ldquono more pasta&rdquo &ldquoNo Thai curries&rdquo I chipped in &ldquoNo Chinese not even Maggi noodles at home&rdquo crooned my wifepp&ldquoYou&rsquore all ganging up against me&rdquo said Chanda in a martyred tone &ldquobut I&rsquoll prove I can survive comfortably with genuine Indian food as soon as you pour me another drink&rdquo &ldquoAlas&rdquo I said &ldquoI&rsquom constrained from offering you either bourbon or scotch both imported so if you&rsquoll settle for good ol&rsquo Old Monk rum I can serve it with lemon or orange or pineapple juice but not I think Coke or any other mixer since they&rsquore owned by MNCs&rdquo &ldquoSurely I can have a glass of Indian wine&rdquo Chanda suggested &ldquoTut-tut&rdquo said my wife &ldquonot with the grapes being imported&rdquo &ldquoA beer&rdquo asked Chanda &ldquoImported hops dear&rdquo said her husbandppOver the course of the evening Chanda learned that she would be depriving herself of chocolates understandably but also cakes and most desserts which if they didn&rsquot have imported ingredients were a produce of or at least influenced by Western cultures &mdash just as her toast in the morning or wedge of quiche for lunch No more vindaloos nary a dhansak eliminating chillies also meant saying goodbye to streetside momos or gelatos from the cart &ndash in fact no dining out at allpp&ldquoAnd that&rsquos just the food dear&rdquo said her husband &ldquoI fear you will no longer want to ride in the car since the fuel has probably been imported&rdquo &ldquoNo more flowers&rdquo said Sarla dramatically &ldquobecause the saplings were originally imported from England&rdquo &ldquoNo more holidays abroad&rdquo agreed her husband happily &ldquoshould I cancel our tickets to Greece&rdquo &ldquoDon&rsquot be silly darling&rdquo retorted Chanda &ldquoI think I have a craving for McDonald&rsquos fries right now and am ordering a portion &ndash hands up those who want some&rdquop

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