Take the dialogue for example, where a character ties up a girl and tells his boss, semi-comically, "Cake ready hai, kaat lo.
While the boss is about to rape the girl, a child peeks into the parked vehicle, and it suddenly turns into a comedy track, with one of the rapists yelling at the child for stopping their "entertainment". Charming!
We meet Lokesh Duggal ("friends call me Lucky") played by Vivek Oberoi. One of the most despicable characters ever written as the film's hero, Lokesh leers at women, pees in other people's drinks, and tries to get fresh with women the first time he meets them. Such that Loveena (Mallika Sherawat) has to call the cops on him.
The thing is, he's already in a soup involving the cops, a tape containing a politician's sting operation, and some goons. And now he and Loveena are stuck together.
Kismet Love Paisa Dilli then tells us the story through the night.
It's hard to believe that this film is made by Sanjay Khanduri who directed Ek Chalis Ki Last Local in 2007. Beginning badly, the film gets worse with each passing scene.
Homosexuality is portrayed as "raheeson ke nawaabui shaunk" and the gay community shown in a seriously objectionable light.
The homophobic, misogynistic film then attempts to inject humour through a character that bites people's ears off. How that can be funny, when it makes you lose your appetite, is perplexing.
Another disgusting aspect is passing off Lokesh's character as the hero - viewing women as objects and constantly trying to bed the next pretty girl, he also speaks each sentence with at least a dozen expletives.
In fact, in a scene where he is upset with Loveena, he pins her down and molests her. Of course, only in a Hindi film can the two end up together.
Meanwhile the cat-and-mouse game involving the goons, our central characters, the politician's men refuses to end.
The finale is predictable and the kind you've seen in films a hundred times over. This is one of the few films where the songs are a welcome relief from the story.
Performances are the film's only saving grace. But one wonders what made Vivek Oberoi and Mallika Sherawat accept this film.
Both give earnest performances but the film lets them down terribly.
Do yourself a favour and stay far, far away!
Rating: ? star