Inspired by Congress, companies now resort to Khemkaing

Last Updated: Fri, Oct 18, 2013 07:19 hrs

It seems that the Khemka episode has inspired many a company in corporate India. For those who don’t know the story, Ashok Khemka, an honest IAS officer who was beginning to be seen as bothersome by the congress after he whistleblew l’affaire Vadra – was chargesheeted for apparent low sales of seeds when he was MD of the Haryana Seed Development Corporation.

Taking a leaf out of the Congress’ books, it seems that an IT company in Bangalore has fired an employee who had given the company a low rating in an apparently anonymous internal feedback session.

He was fired for ‘exceeding his daily quota of free coffee from the vending machine’.  Many such episodes are now arising from various parts of the country, and in fact, there’s now a verb for it – Khemkaed.

“I proactively made some changes to my boss’ strategy powerpoint presentation because I thought my ideas were better, more feasible and would usher in a new paradigm”, said an MBA, speaking like an MBA. “However, I don’t think he liked it one bit. Next day, I was Khemkaed. He asked me to clear my desk because the size of the font of my email signature was against the company policy.”

In another episode, an employee had proactively recommended some changes to the HR and operational functioning of the company, which, he wrote in a detailed 432-page assessment done entirely in his free time and weekends, would raise the productivity of the company by 323%, profits by 988% and employee morale by 9324% but would require top management to work for 2 more hours per week.

“I was asked to leave the company because I was making a loud sound while sharpening my pencils”, said the Khemkaed employee in  disdain. And it doesn’t need to be from the corporate sector.

“Arey yaar, I told her I didn’t want to buy a car till I was 26, and two days later she dumped me because  apparently once I forgot to SMS her saying she looked nice”, said a confused yet heartbroken young man in South Delhi.

“I feel Khemkaed”, he lamented, but shattering the illusion that non-The Hindu readers are aware of things beyond Kareena Kapoor. Khemkaing was felt even in the cricket field.

Yes, even the nation’s religion was not spared. Said a member of a cricket team, who prefers to remain anonymous: “Yeah, we hired a new coach, but he was making us do all sorts of exercises and things which he said will be good for us. What nonsense.

So we Khemkaed him because he did not know the chronological order of all of Sachin Tendulkar’s innings, which is an unpardonable crime  for a Mumbai coach to commit”.

When our journalist approached the Congress asking them about this new phenomenon they created, their spokesperson had him thrown out of his office for apparently entering the premises against Vaastu principles.

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