Love? It's complicated

Why would anyone in love read your article on Valentine's Day? They would be busy lost in each other and wouldn't want to know about what the world thinks/doesn't think about love, remarked a recently-married friend.

Oh yes, the exception may be if I could write on 1,001 ways to fool Muthalik & Goons or may be perhaps 1,001 ways (even 101 would do) to get laid, he added, now with a sarcastic smile to me, a single.

Special: Valentine's Day

When I asked a friend, single, trying very hard to mingle, he said: Lucky were our ancestors. Love in the time of struggle and war was easy . . .(sentence deleted, lest the office is set ablaze) It worse than might have been easier during the “time of cholera”, but in the era of Google, Facebook and Orkut, it is very complicated.

The problem starts right on the night you meet her at a party, and upon returning home you beer google the name. You see a blank space where the relationship status is usually, and are left perplexed. Can't wait till morning to know further details, you wonder why she is hiding the status, becoming by now a master in logic and calculating the possibility of her going out with any of your friends, or having a childhood pal, affair with a married man… and god forbid what not!

Say it with a gift

But worse are those with the ‘complicated' status. See that word and first thing you want is another beer, to clearly get more confused: Is he going to dump her? Wow, then I not only stand a chance, but have a reason to get close to her. But … but why is he dumping her… ( No worries, we will hit it off.. like Shah Rukh and Kajol in all KJo films! Please, please, don't remind me of KANK)

However, what if she is planning to move on? Yes, who will stay with that creep, see how he dresses and keeps holding her hand (one more beer please, let's celebrate. Have found a potential you-know-what). No, may be she has found a new boy (Beer please, I can't digest this) Good that, we don't see many with the status: Open relationship. While Facebook stops with just ‘open relationship', Orkut goes one further and has this to offer: ‘Open marriage'. We need to appreciate them for stopping with this. Okay, accepted that Facebook has a last option called ‘widowed' and you want to know what happens to those ‘divorced'.

A temple for valentines

The worst situation was when a week after meeting an ex-colleague at a party and finding her more attractive than ever before (you guessed it right, she smiled at me from across the hall, and while at the dessert table, asked me: ‘How are you') I went back to Facebook. And suddenly it was if I had run into a wall. Her Status: Married to Anita.

God! How could she? Why didn't anyone tell me that before? Is it why, her smile seemed very natural, it was as if four of Karan Johar and Tamil actor Vijay's films being screened on the walls of a room and me alone sitting there. Simple: Nothing makes sense. At least Orkut has a section asking for sexual orientation! But… But…

10 Valentine's Day myths

Only recently, I learnt about the trend on Facebook where singles show their status as married to close friends.
With Google, GPS and every other new technology, as finding excuses to approach girls is becoming more difficult by the day, just when we thought Facebook and Orkut are cool avenues to meet up new friends, the relationship status spoils everything.

Could someone please do away with the section? For us, ignorance is bliss. Certainly better than a little knowledge.
And yes, what about the few rare girls, who seem interested in me? Apparently, they get put off by the blank space in the relationship status in my profile.

Happy Valentine's Day!