Ladies and Gentlemen, mark your calendars. Sunday, September 16 is Wife Appreciation Day, a time to show how much you truly honor and cherish your other half by celebrating her. Wait, what's that? You've never heard of Wife Appreciation Day? It falls on the third Sunday in September. Husbands, if you have found yourself in the doghouse lately, here are a few tips for Wife Appreciation Day that might help spur you.
*Agree with her about everything
Whenever your wife is talking about anybody in your family whether it's your mom, dad, brother, sister or sister-in-law, just agree with her. Ninety per cent of the time she is pointing out one problem or the other, don't try to defend but just "Agree with her" and if possible, contribute a little
*Fix her a drink
When your wife comes home after a hard day at office or shopping fix her a drink -- one for you and one for her. A drink can help you in two ways:
1) A drink lightens the mood
2) After a drink your disability is suddenly viewed as your ability because the vision gets a little blurred. Once the night progresses, she can see lesser of your mistakes like things are all over the place, or you left the laptop on the sofa, or the remote is inside the cracks of the sofa, or shoes are left outside the house et al
*Stand by her during the most important decision of her life
Whenever she is stepping out of house, she will take her time to choose what she is going to wear. You have 2 choices here:
1) Stand there, roll your eyes, take a deep breath and even probably irritate her by asking her how much more time she'll take
2) You can stay there and wait for her
I suggest the latter. In fact, you can contribute to the choices. You can give your suggestions and say "No this pink top won't go with white pants, this dark blue slipper is not looking good on you could you please try light blue one?" She will still do what she likes, she will wear what she had already decided but she will somewhere think you took interest in her most important decision of life
*Confess your sins
Go to her and confess a few mistakes that you made in the last few days. While making the confession, also agree with her that these were the defects she had discovered in you long ago. You can then go to her and say you realised that whenever she used to pinpoint your short comings was the right thing ever. This will please her "I am always Right" ego
*Surrender the remote and the phone for a day
Don't pick up the remote to watch your favorite match on TV or pick up your phone to check your Whatsapp messages or Facebook feeds. Be around and answer the first time she calls your name and mark your attendance. Honestly, she also wants this for a day otherwise she will also be creeped out with this behavior.
*Sing a song
If you have a voice like mine, sing a song for her and sing the whole song. She will be scared for life and you will never get a song request. Basically sing like nobody is listening
*PDAing on social media
Put up a Facebook post appreciating her, tagging her and probably tagging some of her family members. There is no better way of appreciating her when everybody in the world can see, including your family and your friends.
(Stand-up comedian, writer and storyteller, Amit Tandon is Founder of Grandmasters of Comedy, a company that aims to make the corporate world laugh. He can be contacted at firstname.lastname@example.org)