The Unfair Umpire is a fictional series that attempts to delve into the mind of the men in white hats. They see all, know all, but rarely say anything. Unless their memoirs get published; but that's too long to wait. We thought we'd get you an inside track of what they ought to be thinking. Only, it's us saying it. So don't take it too seriously. Just have a laugh.
You know, us umpires are supposed to enjoy immunity. We're not questionable. We're the supreme beings on a cricket field. We may only be tried by the media. No governing body in the world including the ICC may question our decisions. We've used these powers in the past. Our umpires got bored in the 2007 World Cup final in the Caribbean. So we pushed the match late enough to be played in the dark. Just because we could.
Our far-reaching influence and might extends to all forms of the game. The IPL's first few years were all about the players, cheerleaders and Preity Zinta's dimple. Well guess what? We're back, baby!
I have reliable information that the umpire standing in the Deccan Chargers v Mumbai Indians match on Monday 9th April the square leg umpire decided not to refer Kumar Sangakkara's 'bowled' appeal. He thought he wasn't getting enough airtime because players and other celebrities were hogging the limelight.
And I can understand where he's coming from. Apart from the Chennai Super Kings, no one has to sport a more ridiculous colored outfit than the on-field umpire. That red t-shirt deserves much more visibility. What also had the umpire teed off was that he had to make inane conversation with some commentators. He told them that it wasn't a good idea to talk to him.
He may miss a nick. And he did, didn't he?
Yes, he knew the batsman was out bowled. There was enough cause for referring it to the third umpire. But why should he? Without getting his due attention and coverage? Once he did, he referred it, right? It's simple, really.
Now, don't get us wrong. We're not spiteful. We also want our fair share of the limelight from this IPL. We're not paid anywhere as well as the players are. We spend as much time as they do on the field. We have our skills. But no one is showing our stats when we walk in. Everyone loves to criticize us anyways. So we're justifying their criticism.
Disclaimer: The content in these articles is fictional and for entertainment purposes only. There is no indication or implication of any umpire having actually said any of the content. Also, no umpires were harmed during the making of these columns!