Monk who believes in his Amma explains why Zomato IPO is not a good idea

Source :Sify
Last Updated: Tue, Jul 6th, 2021, 14:58:49hrs
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Dear Saar,

Thank you very much for asking my opinions. (Honestly! Sify didn't!)

Since you are asking no, that is why I am telling you that Zomato is romba-sooper app Saar. Last month only I ordered a plate of Idli Sambar chutney and they gave me complimentary molagai pudi. Who does that Saar? I also got 10 percent off on Aviyal in my next order.

I know what you are feeling now. Yes, they are a little slow compared to Dominos Pizza. But see traffic also no. So much traffic nowadays in Mumbai and Chennai. Sometimes no, I feel people are afraid that Petrol will go to Rs 200 per litre. That is why everybody wants to travel now itself enjoy their hearts out.

Let me tell you a secret Saar. one Zomato delivery boy has become my pucca friend. Whenever I want to go out no; I only have to ask him. "Okay Saar" he tells me and together we do deliveries. He didn't allow me to touch his motorcycle but he is okay in allowing me to sit in the back side. We visit so many good places in and around Mumbai.

Today from you only I came to know about Zomato doing IPO. I think it is not a very good idea Saar. I told you last week only no that IPO-VIPO is a dangerous game? That is why.

Rajesh, my jealous neighbor who is doing day time trading these days is telling me that he will buy shares before the IPO and then sell them to make cool profits. I am telling him what is cool in it? Everybody is doing like that only. I tell him that just like cryptocurrency, it is just betting daa. He is telling me that he has a gifted ability to pick stocks. But I tell myself that "Non-sense Rajesh is good at only picking nose! "

So many times I tell him that a good investor should be like any Indian mother. He doesn't understand only.

My Amma no Saar is an excellent housewife and super mother. She will take time in finding good quality rice, super quality coconut, big size Kadalai Paruppu (Bengal Chana Dal) and then take one full evening to do the maavu (batter). For Chutney, she will find best quality chillies and kothamilli (Coriander). Next day that maavu will come so much to the top no Saar. Aiyo, Aiyo, Aiyo!

Chutney taste avalav supera irukum Saar! (Chutney tastes that good)

Good investors no Saar are like my mother only. They say no, invest in good fundamentals, compare industry standings, find your risks, only then invest hard earned money. Just like that only. If people like Rajesh invested in such good companies no Saar, then their profit would be like a good plate of Idli. Of course dividends in the form of Sambaar or Chutney will also come to their plate. But making good chutney (dividends) is an art. But who cares for my advice! Everyone thinks I am such a Suppandi

I tell Rajesh that look stock market is very deadly now because everybody is desperate to buy only -- just like everybody wants to travel despite Petrol crossing Rs 100. Where they want to go, nobody knows. Where they want to invest, nobody knows.

I showed Rajesh that Sensex graph Saar. It was some 53,000, costlier than even 10 grams of Gold! Gold rate is not growing at all. Saar, you should educate people like Rajesh who are still busy in picking stocks only.

But there is more serious thing that my school friend Nagaraja is telling me. He is telling me that Zomato is doing loss. I am confused how Rajesh will find PE or EPS or other gyaan words for this stock. I am telling him also that loss making companies are like Masala Dosa without the Masala in it. But he doesn't care only.

Rajesh is telling me that the company's some unit economics is improving, they are doing more orders and revenue is doubled aan. I tell him, "Dai, mutthal, how will you find PE when there is no profit!" He is telling me something that I am not able to understand.

By the way Saar if you think that I am just complaining no, it is not me alone. Shetty anna is telling me how startups like Swiggy and Zomato are making loss for him. I am feeling very sorry for Shetty Anna and Pujari bhaai who couldn't buy another vehicle this year. They bought 2 BMWs each during 2020. They have very famous restaurant near my house only. I am telling them so many times that I will build a website for them. They say no. Sometimes I feel they are Chillra-peoples. 

They only grumble about Zomato. I don't know what their problem is but once Zomato becomes listed no, then they will have to tell SEBI and BSE and NSE about such complaints. They will also have to constantly ask the top management for discounts which is not a very good thing about productivity.

Two days ago only, they sent me an email about a Leaked Whatsapp Chat where the CFO and  CEO were fighting about discount. The CEO is a very nice man, he is fighting for customers and wants to give discount in birthday month of Zomato. How sweet no Sir. I became very touched with this fight. But once Zomato becomes listed no, every analyst in the world will argue with the CEO about discounts. Goyalji you should take care of your health Sir! Okay vaa!

To conclude no Saar, I think only profits will be issue. Otherwise, see so many startups have come to Dalal Street and become such good stocks. Look at JustDial or IndiaMart or the best Info Edge (Naukri) they all have some profits. 

My best wishes for Zomato during the IPO. Give us some nice meal offer during Diwali or Dhanteras muhurat trading and keep all your shareholders very happy. Become a very successful IPO! Because if one loss making company has a good IPO no then other loss making companies like Reliance Communications or Jet Airways will also get inspired.

Ohh Kaduvale I only pray that some Zomato boy who reads my article should not refuse my food.

Yours Faithfully, 
Prof Bluffington Iyer

Disclaimer: Prof Bluffington Iyer is a day-dreamer, invests time in over-thinking and sharing silly parodies and satire with Sify Finance. If you like his writings, do share them on social media. You can always reach out to us for any complaints or feedback. Readers are also advised that this article is not an investment advice. You are requested to consult a SEBI registered financial analyst for personalized financial or stock-market advice.

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