Blood Money review: A product of duplications!
By: Sonia Chopra
Critic's Rating: 17/5
Friday 30 March 2012
Kunal Khemu, Amrita Puri, Mia Uyeda
What kind of a Jannat is this? Where the hero plays Raju Ban Gaya Gentleman and his boss plays Devil?s Advocate.
The hero Kunal (Kunal Khemu) and his wife whisper sweet nothings about Hansel, Gretel and a witch. He lovingly tells her, ?ek jhaampad doonga?. Sigh, true love. The wife Arzoo (Amrita Puri) who is new to Cape Town, keeps complaining that she is bored, bored, bored! She doesn?t seem to have an aim or agenda in her life, except waiting for her husband to come home or smash cakes into the ground when he?s late. She did have a dream once?of opening a school, which she promptly dumped to accompany the hubby. And as we are reminded again, she is bored, bored, bored. Hell, ditto.
So our hero works in a company dealing in blood diamonds. As you can see, the makers didn?t have to really brainstorm on the title. His boss takes him in and mentors him in all the illegal activities over a nice pasta lunch. Kunal plays lost boy and declares that he has ?sold his soul?. A seductress is employed to insinuate some semi-porn scenes. Terrorism is tossed in. The makers aren?t taking any chances.
There?s some nice stuff in there. The analogy between enjoying a nice meal and enjoying life is nice, even if awkwardly done. A rare gem pops out, like the dialogue which says that most people are good, because they don?t get the opportunity to be bad. Highly debatable, this, but at least it?s an insight into the hero?s mind.
Otherwise, the dialogue is the pits. The boss describes progress in these words, ?business ka pahiya zoron se ghoom raha hai.? Then for no reason, people, well-versed in English and Hindi, start using tapori words like ?yeda?. ?
The finale is unintentionally howlarious. You have Khemu battling baddies, cracking smart-alecky jokes and calling a dangerous man ?gadha<?, all with a bullet in his gut. The blood from the bullet spreads out nicely and evenly on his pale shirt, and remains in the same pattern all through his banter with this man who is about to kill him. Unless of course. Aha.
Meanwhile, his wife goes to a temple dressed in white and shouts at him over the phone that she doesn?t want to go back to Mumbai as a widow. Why she?s already dressed like one, is a mystery. It?s also funny.
What?s really tragic is the hero scoffs at the villain for talking of things like a secret black book which is so ?80s Bollywood. Tragically this film is exactly that.
Acting ranges from average to insufferable. The problem is the atrocious dubbing makes even an average performance look bad. There are characters that are made to fume when they should be worried, and even as the news is being broken to them.
Kunal Khemu makes Emraan Hashmi look good. Khemu has shown promise in his earlier work, but he?s hopelessly miscast here. The girl, who showed a real spark as the small-town girl in Aisha, is vapid and clearly bored with this empty characterization. Manish Chaudhary, playing Khemu?s boss, is the only one who puts in a fairly good performance. ?
So there you have it. A product that has borrowed from so many films, it doesn?t even try forming its own place. A film that makes fun of B-movies from the past, when it?s exactly that. A twisted irony, really.
Rating: One and a half stars